EPM documentation – The little things mean a lot

The problem

If you’ve ever needed to send a link to a particular subject within the Essbase Technical Reference, henceforth called Tech Ref ‘cos I am lazy), you may have had a frustrating experience.  Why?

Copying and pasting of said links don’t work

What do I mean?  Watch and (not) marvel.

Filter MDX function documentation

Yr. obt. svt.’s attempt to copy and paste

The copy

The paste

The url copied is http://docs.oracle.com/cd/E57185_01/epm.1112/essbase_tech_ref/frameset.htm?launch.html.  That ain’t right.

Alas and alack

We’re right back where we started from, as you can see.

Getting round this

I whined (whinged for you Commonwealth readers) about this to the EPM Information Development team and they, perhaps in an effort get me to shut up or perhaps in an effort to help the general EPM community out – I prefer to think of the latter but the former is likely the case – showed me how to get to the right place.

It’s just this little chromium switch

Instead of copying the frame url, instead look at the frame’s information.  Here are the steps in Firefox.

Here’s looking at you, kid

Grab it and go

This copy is going to result in the url http://docs.oracle.com/cd/E57185_01/epm.1112/essbase_tech_ref/mdx_filter.html.  Could this be right?

Oh yes it is

Isn’t that nice?

So is this important?

If you share links from EPM documentation, yes, absolutely.  I know it seems trivial but I think each and every one of we Essbase Hackers have been frustrated by this.  

Again, my thanks to the great people at the EPM documentation team for showing how this works.  If you’re not taking advantage of their offerings beyond the base documentation page, you really ought to.

Here they are on YouTube, Google+, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.  You can’t say they aren’t trying to reach out to us.   

Be seeing you.

Personalized Airfares

Last time we were talking about mass transit systems collecting fares on the honor system.  This time, something completely different.  But to understand it, consider this analogy:

Let’s say you’re in a store shopping for a commodity.  You and another shopper each select one of the same items at the same time and head for the cashier.  But before you can pay, the cashier asks for your name and some identification.

You’re from Darien or New Canaan and a new customer.  The other shopper is from Hartford, but a regular at the store.  The cashier plugs in that info and you’re told that your purchase will cost 10% more than the other shopper’s.

What?  Well, welcome to the world of “personalized prices”.

You may not realize it, but this happens all the time when you’re buying gasoline, thanks to “zone pricing” where gas stations charge higher prices in more affluent communities, not just in Connecticut but nationwide.

And giving discounts to “best customers” is also quite common.  Monthly pass holders on Metro-North pay only half of what their peak fares would cost purchased separately.

But never before have these concepts been combined in some secret algorithm to apply to purchasing airline tickets… until now.

IATA, the International Air Transport Authority, has petitioned the US to allow its 250 members to capture and use new kinds of personal information about would-be flyers before quoting them a fare.

Most frightening of these could be some sort of “means test”.  In other words, as in a bazaar when the salesman sizes you up and asks “how much do you want to pay?” the airline would figure out that answer itself based on your zip code and flying patterns. 

So if you live in a rich town, they’ll assume you can pay more and quote you higher fares while folks in poorer communities are offered discounts.

To his credit, our US Senator Richard Blumenthal along with others in Washington are questioning the fairness, if not the legality, of all this.  They’ve written to the US Transportation Department asking if this plan isn’t hurting more consumers than its helping.

Airline flights have never been fuller.  Because they’ve shrunk their fleets and customer demand has come back, almost 80% of all seats are full on domestic and international flights.

Gone are the glory days of my mis-spent youth when students could fly “stand-by” hoping

for an empty seat just before departure in return for a 50% discount. That only worked because planes were empty.

Today the incentive to get a cheap seat is to book early, weeks in advance, not to show up at the last minute hoping to find an empty seat.  There are none.

But to price the same seat bought at the same time at two different prices simply because of shoppers’ demographics seems unethical if not illegal. 

Airlines are not allowed to discriminate on the basis of race, gender, national origin.  So why would we allow them to, in effect, look at our credit report before quoting us a fare?

Full version of my UK Cyclist Magazine Giro Preview

The season of spring is an action packed smorgasbord of professional cycling. It's a fair argument to say that no other 3month block of the season will test the riders skills and physical condition the way the month of spring seem to do. March kick things of with the race between the seas with tirreno addriatico and the optimistically named race to the sun with Paris nice although you would be hard pressed to find to many examples of sunshine greeting the riders in nice annually! Also during march sees belgium come to life and the hard man come out to play on the cobbles, crosswinds, and what otter feels lie racing on footpaths not to mention the array of climatic conditions that are also thrown the peletons way. Perhaps fittingly in the final month of spring lies a race that has a history of testing all the skill set required to survive during this period with the giro! There is an endless archive of iconic images which encapsulate the uniqueness of the race around Italy, again seeming to serve as one final exam for a peleton that's spent the unpredictable months of racing in spring to prepare for. 3 weeks of racing that can quite literally through up a completely different climate and terrain on each and every single stage to assess how well the warriors of road racing have done the homework or hardwork in this case to be prepared for anything and everything that the giro can through up at you. Like with every great bike race it's logical that the most complete rider will rise to the top and emerge victorious but perhaps this is never more evident than at the giro.



What makes the giro special

The initial part of the season is a build to the classics for the hard men and the giro for gc chargers. To be at your best for the giro means negotiating your way through the most unpredictable and stressful period of the racing season. This therefore means that simply arriving at the start line of the giro in your absolute optimal health and best condition is a major challenge in itself, let alone worrying about the 3 weeks of torture that lies ahead. I can obviously only speak with conviction on the 2 giro's that I've competed in in 2010 and 2013. Both editions of the race were equally different and equally brutal in there own unique way. The lead up to both events is also something special. Often as early as the races in february and march you'll start to see the same faces of the races your using as preparations, another 200 guys on a similar schedule that will culminate in the giro. So before you have even made it to the startling you have already formed a bit of an extended family of fellow giro competitors in the build up, in the end it's not just the 3 weeks you'll spend with alot of all these guys but more like 3 months. Why is this important to know?? Well with the challenges that the giro throughs up with it's climate and terrain and you suffer as badly as you do at times, it makes it's far more manageable when your around a group of guys whom you know know and appreciate what your going though and that solidarity within the peleton can often be critical in helping you deal with the challenges the big lap of Italy throughs your way.





The way the race is played out-



Due to the timing of the giro it takes an extremely resilient and all rounded champion to pull on the pink jersey at the end of 3 weeks of racing. The race can be broken down into 3 stages, First week, second week and 3rd week. Week 1 is the stressful week. The sprinter or bunch sprint friendly stages result in small gaps on GC and alot of riders within striking distance of a day in the prized maglia rosa! With just one day wearing such a prize having the potential to shape the entire career of a rider it's logical that everyone is a little on edge due to the high stakes. With nervous anxious riders comes a nervous anxious peleton and that sadly tends to greatly increase the probability of nasty crashes which the consequences can be equally consequential for those that crash or suffer misfortune as those whom benefit from the crashes taking place and are the fortunate ones. It will ruin a season for some and define a career for others, such are the highs and lows of sickness, injury or a successful daring move that nets that great result. You truly start every stage in the first week of the giro knowing that one thing is guaranteed, that anything and everything is possible of that day for each and every single rider in the peleton.



While I have many wonderful memories from my days racing in the giro, one particular stage in the 2010 edition sums up perfectly my impressions of the race. Stage 11, 262 from Lucera to L'aquila was the longest stage of the 2010 event and came close to the end of what had been a brutal 2nd week. That year the race began in holland which meant that after just 3 days of racing when we returned to Italy we had taken our first rest day. This meant that a haul of 10 straight stages were rattled of before the 2nd rest day would be arrive. Stage 11 came after 7 straight of the most unpredictable and taxing days of racing I've endured. We had searing heat to contend with, almost monsoonal rain falls the next day, sub zero foggy mountain stages with zero visibility the next and to top everything off the gravel or Strada bianchi stage was held in torrential rain which would come as not surprise turned the stage into cycling equivalent of a mud run! That day in the mud was that chaotic that in the end the dismal suffering could only be replaced by the humor of the citation us riders found ourselves in as we plowed our way through the mud! Not surprisingly and fittingly the stage was won by the regarded as the most complete rider of his generation, the great Australian Cadel Evans whom was able to draw of his 20years of professional bike riding experience to cross the line first on a day where guts and determination counted as much for exceptional bike skills, two things which cadel has no shortage off! 



Anyways back to stage 11 to L'Aquila and it's a day of racing I'll never forget. The longest stage in the race is always to be feared. With 7hrs of racing ahead the entire peleton was hoping for as straightforward a day as possible. Straightforward in as much as a nice breakaway that the gc teams could easily manage and the course could be covered in the must civilized possible! Yeah right!! The stage started out in beautiful sunshine and warm condition which was one blessing as the flag dropped in Lucera, that however was the last time there would be anything civilized about the stage. Around 10pm into the stage the attacks were coming thick and fast as we entered a dark tunnel. I was at the front staying alert to control any dangerous attacks for our team leader Michele Scarponi as we entered the tunnel, well 2nd wheel to be precise. I was thinking gee we are hammering here through this tunnel and as we came out the other side and barreled down the other side I noticed we were really hammering. It was a wide open big straight road and I was full gas following the wheel ahead of me. I just assumed all the bunch was there but all of a sudden team sky and movistar stormed to the front and drilled it! At this point I looked back and noticed there were around 50 of us and daylight behind. In the group were some of the biggest gc threats for the race in Bradley Wiggins, Carlos Sastre, David Arroyo, and most excitingly for me that day fellow Tasmanian Richie Porte whom at days end became the biggest name in the international Cycling world when he pulled on the maglia rosa. There was a day that not that richie wasn't already destined for stardom but that day just sped up that process for him which was great to see. So back tot he race and the gap quickly started to rise and the big teams of there leaders drove home the advantage they were being given. I was told by my androni ds gianni savio to sit tight as many team behind were hitting the panic button and chasing hard. He said my chasing energy would be needed later in the stage. So I sat tight and comfortable in the breakaway in the luxurious position of not having to do any work. I even started dreaming of go for a big result myself as I would have a chance to arrive at the finish as fresh possible and spent many minutes studying the finish profile plotting my attack. As were rolled along the road toward L'aquila we also slowly began to rise in altitude, it was one of those days that gradually rose in elevation and with it the temperature dropped and the rain started to fall. S now the warm sunshine was gone, we were on the longest stage of the race and it was pouring rain and freezing cold. I kept checkin in with the team about going back to start pulling but was told to sit tight, all was under control. Yeah right! Sure enough with 100km to and we were 22minutes up the road savio finally called my teammate Rubens Bertagliati and myself back. The only problem was now that we were so far ahead and it was so cold that riding slowly or waiting on the side of the road as I would have got hypothermia! So did the only logical thing, I turned around and rode backwards with rubens and Brent Bookwalker of BMC who had also been called back to help his team captain Cadel Evans. We rode about 3km back over the terrain we had just covered so now turned the stage into a 270km day for us, would have looked interesting on Strava that file!! Anyways I couldn't believe what I saw when what was left of the peleton arrived. The brutality of the chase had taken it's toll and now just 20riders remained in the peleton! All the biggest names were there, all with the same desperate look of needing help on there faces as rubens, Brent and I arrived. The group contained The eventual winner Ivan basso and his team mate Vincenso Nibali, Scarponi, the man in pink Vino, Cadel, pozzato, paolini, Pablo lastras, and some other very strong dudes, put it this way at the time I recognized each and everyone of them! 



Anyways there was no time for pondering the situation it was desperate times and time to get to work. For the next 60km we pulled at pur absolute max and when I did my final pull before being catapulted out the back the gap was down to 10minutes. One conciliation was even though I was offering the chase had been solid as now only around 10 of the the strong men remaind in this peleton! It was crazy, there were 50 up the road, 10 in the peleton, and 140 guys miles back down the road!! Anyways as I was unceremoniously dumped out the back of the field I was totally spent and hadn't prepared myself for what was to hit me next. I was completely out of fuel, I was now freezing cold as my body had no energy to keep it warm, and o still had 40km to ride and I was alone! My teeth started chattering and I was starting the face the reality of not being able to keep my body moving. Then almost like a knight in shinning armor, Pablo Lastras appeared out of the mist and saw me in distress. He had seen the work I'd done and been dropped in the process, that alone will earn you respect with your peers. What he did next saved my day ensured my survival in the 2010 giro. He put his hand on my back and simply said, tranquillo Cameron, relax! He simply got me to the finish. He pushed me along and kept me talking, he even unwrapped power bars and opened gels for me, a simply thing my border lining frostbited hands hands a d teeth could not mechanically perform. He was in every sense of the word a life saver for me that day and eventually some 40minutes after the winner petrov had crossed the line and 30minutes behind the group of favorites I'd been helping some 40km's before hand! I was absolutely in peaces! 



This stage for me really signified everything the giro stand for me. We had the 4 seasons in the one day. We had a ridiculously long hard stage at a point in the race when we were already on our knees as a peleton. The stage panned out in the exact opposite way anyone in the peleton predicted before it kicked off that morning. A riders career was catapulted into super stardom when richie porte pulled on the maglia rosa. The eventual champion Ivan boss showed his class and experience and while lost major time knew that staying within his limits would mean he would have the batteries left to put all the field to the sword in the final torturous week of racing in the dolomite's. And off course that solidarity I'd talked about wigging the group of riders that tackles the giro was evident with Pablo lastras whom rode for another team ensured that I made it to the finish that stage. Oh and also my day all in all was as unpredictable as ever which a giro stage can only through your way, it still remains the only time in my racing career I've turned around and ridden the wrong way back down the race course!! All in all was just a magically racing giro day that I and I'm sure every rider whom raced the stage or watched the stage will never ever forget.





P.s. I wrote this 6 weeks ago so it's been interesting following the lead up to the big lap of Italy unfold for the big favorites! Pretty exciting that it would appear the Tasmanian richie Porte is right on track for taking home pink!!

Stupid Programming Trick No. 24 – Sub Vars to tables via Calc Scripts

Introduction

This is another in a series of good ideas that have been shamelessly stolen inspired by Martin Slack.  I’m learning an awful lot from Martin; I’m not entirely sure that he is from me.  Such are the fortunes of war.

The problem

I needed a way to get the current month value from an Essbase substitution variable so I could do all sorts of weird and wonderful data integration things with it.  How to do it?

The idea that springs to mind for most of us (or at least yr. obt. svt.) is some way of getting it out from MaxL using the display variable syntax, piping it to a log file, and then face the somewhat unpleasant task of reading in a text file, parsing it via some language (VBScript, Perl, Powershell, etc;) and then from that getting it into a table.  

Ugh.

Stolen glory

Martin said something to the effect of, “What if you could just get it from a calc script?”  A calc script?  Hmmm.  Calc scripts, even using DATAEXPORT, write data, not metadata.  Or do they?

The Stupid Trick its own self

DATAEXPORT is an eponymous command – it exports data.  But what if there was no data to export?  Even more useless, right?  Here’s the Stupid Trick bit:  this is exactly what is needed – no data is fine because we’re going after metadata.  So how does metadata come from data?  And how does it get into a relational table?  Read on Gentle Reader and all will be revealed.

It’s all in your head in four parts

Part the first – the outline

Using my VFEDITWWW, I’ve added members that, at least in this blog, can never have data.  To wit, I have added the members No Measures, No Product, and No Market.  You will likely have different requirements unless you are The Beverage Company.

Part the second – the calc script

This member combination now gets exported to disk.  Ah, you say, yet another worthless bit of programming drivel from Cameron.  You’re wrong, for once, to think that.

Looking at the code below, note the structure of the export, with the DataExportColHeader option set to  Year.  When that is combined with an export of the Members That Can Never Have Data, look at what gets exported.

Part the third – the output

Brilliant, isn’t it?  And I mention that because the brilliance is all Martin’s.

I now have an output file with just the current month and nothing else.  This is a lot easier than trying to running a MaxL file and then parsing the output.  But how to get that into a relational data store?

Part the fourth – the SQL

The last problem now facing this approach is getting the value of Oct into a relational database.  Again, there are all sorts of complex and sophisticated ways of doing this:  ODI or SSIS spring to mind but there is a significantly easier way to do this, and to even do it within a SQL query.

Say hello to your new friend BULK INSERT

In SQL Server (in Oracle there is a concept called external tables that does much the same thing), there is a command called BULK INSERT.  While it is mostly used for doing just what it sounds like – a bulk insert of lots of data – in fact it can be used to bring any amount of data into a database from a file.  And if it can do that, and there is a file that has the current month, connecting the dots is pretty straightforward.

Here’s what my code looks like:

BULK INSERT Current_Period FROM

    '\\epm11123\C$\Tempdir\Current_Period.txt'

    WITH

    (

        CODEPAGE = 'ACP',

        DATAFILETYPE = 'char',

        FIRSTROW = 1,

        LASTROW = 1,

        FIELDTERMINATOR = '\t',

        ROWTERMINATOR = '\n'

    )

One consideration is that there’s no way to map the columns in the data source to the target.  Instead BULK INSERT is positional, e.g., the first field in the source file is loaded into the first field in the target table.  This is different from INSERT INTO…SELECT FROM syntax which allows an alteration of field order.

I used UNC naming not because I had to – c:\tempdir would have worked as well – but because mapped drives *must* use UNC naming, not a shared drive so it’s best to just get in the habit.   Also, this continues the tradition of Martin + UNC so what’s not to like?

Lastly, I defined the file by specifying the character set, file type, first and last row, the tab field terminator, and lastly DATAEXPORT’s line feed row terminator.  For giggles I threw in a first and last row but really everything other than the CODEPAGE and DATAFILETYPE settings are just a belt for the braces.

What does it look like?

Pretty good, actually, but there is a fly in the soup:

Do you see the issue?  The text file contents is “Oct” and that is exactly what BULK INSERT imports.  

There’s a pretty good chance that the double quotes are superfluous; the REPLACE function ought to take care of that:

There’s only one more issue to fix

This query will be run more than once, and that’s a problem as can be seen below when I ran the query twice:

The issue is that the query as it stands doesn’t clear out the table before inserting the Current_Period.txt file.  My brilliant data integration code expects one and only one record so perhaps it is not all that brilliant and will thus go KABOOM when two records are encountered.  Even worse is that this table could have multiple values, e.g., if this were to be run in both September and October the first record would be Sep which isn’t the current month.  

The solution is to run a TRUNCATE TABLE first, then the BULK INSERT, and finally the SELECT REPLACE command as below:

Now no matter how many times I run this, I get one and only one result.  Huzzah!

So what do we have?

A combination Stupid Trick that pulls out metadata, not data, via DATAEXPORT and then painlessly imports an evaluated Essbase Substitution variable into a table with nary a hint of MaxL script output or complex data import to SQL.  Take this query and stick it into a stored procedure, an ODI variable or procedure, etc.  The sky is the limit with this and it is dead easy.

Thanks again, Martin.  You keep thinking them up, I keep stealing them, and world+dog gets the benefit.  

Be seeing you.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Belgium Waffle Ride

Belgium waffle ride 2015



With northern Europe wrapping up it's spring classics season on Sunday, southern California decided to join the party with a little classic event of there own. The Belgium Waffle ride has quickly become a mythical event among the socal cycling scene thanks to it's unique course thats designed to challenge a road cyclists ability to handle all types of terrain imaginable. My decision to ride the event was not really my decision but instead my buddy robbie who told me I was racing! I couldn't come up with a decent excuse as why not to do it so figured why not? I was in socal and I'd heard so many awesome stories from people whom had tackled it over the years. Also personally it was a good way for me to test my ability in a group ride situation on challenging terrain. The mix of ashfelt, dirt, sand, mud, up, down, around, twist and turn, and wind that comes from every single direction, was a great opportunity to see how I handle my bike in all these conditions. So many of the surprises out on the course were ones that you wouldn't choose to ride on in training so I was excited to see what my bike would do underneath me. Someone asked me a few weeks before what specific training I would do? I simply replied nothing! I've been fortunate enough to ride my bike a lot over the last 7 years at all levels and on all terrain so figured I'd leave what to expect on the day for the day and have it be a big surprise! Anyways with that being said he's how my whole belgium waffle experience played out.





Preparation

In the couple of weeks leading in the questions kept coming "how are you preparing for the ride??". Eventually I cracked and did a little more research into what to expect. Firstly found out it was a long way and had alot of climbing and sections of gravel roads. None of that worried me, I'd done loads of 7+hrs over the years and climbed plenty of hills in the process. I'd raced strada bianchi in the rain and in the sun and roubaix aswell so figured I'd be able to handle whatever the course had to through at me. The other element however was equipment which was something I was completely under prepared for. I'd heard that anything between a road bike and cyclocross bike was used so figured I'd call the the experts at cannon dale to send me out the ideal weapon for the waffle ride. As always Jonathan Gerran had all the answers for me and within a few days a new synapse disc was shipped out to to get comfortable on. I've found that simply by having my bike built by Win Allen at Wins wheels gives me a good Oman. He had put my tri bike together which remains undefeated so he was the logical choice to get the synapse all dialed in. I have to admit it was love at first sight when I laid my eyes on my waffle machine for the first time! She was simply beautiful! Gun metal grey in color with snazzy dazzy blue and purple stripes, I simply couldn't wait to through my leg over her and take her for a spin. Once aboard I headed straight for the dirt section of the famed mullholland hwy. I figured I needed to know how it felt on the dirt so that was as gooda place as any for the maiden voyage. Sure enough she felt as good as she looked and I was instantly addicted to gravel grinding. You know when you get a new bike that's just that little bit special and you never want that first ride to end, yeah well my first ride on the synapse disc was just like that. 3hrs later chasing any gravel trial I could track down between Beverly hills and Malibu and it was only the loss of daylight that brought my ride to end, I was having a blast and couldn't wait for the waffle ride, luckily it was only 7 days away so I wouldn't have to wait long. This first ride however was a great sign as it was the same when I rode the slice 2 for the first time in preparation for Oceanside, instantly loved the bike, makes it more enjoyable getting up each day to go training when you love the machine your using! 



Over the last 18 months or so I've really enjoyed training down in the socal Encinitas area. With the ride being held in the area I thought it was an excellent opportunity to spend the week down there leading up and turn it into my belgium waffle week and not just a ride. Also conveniently my great mate Todd skippy skipworth was in town training whom has turned into my most regular training partner over the past few years across all continents! Our training and racing schedule seem to conveniently align across all continents all over the world, even Tasmania!! So I was chirpy as could be as I rolled down the 5 fwy toward San Diego on tuesday night to get my waffle week underway. As always when I head south I call in to see my American parents iin Scott and kimba tedro. It's impossible not to spend time with these guys and not leave feeling a few feet taller and capable of running though brick walls, they always put you in a great mood, just awesome people! So all was set to get my teeth stuck into the week ahead and it all kicked off with the Wednesday worlds group ride at 8am from Oceanside on Wednesday morning. I'd recently blasted around camp Pendleton during the Oceanside triathlon so was nice to be able to sit in a bunch and wheel suck along the same roads for a change!! Was a fast and frantic ride as usual and for the first time in my Wednesday worlds career I won the sprint to the traffic lights at the famed trestles surf beach at the end of the base! Perfect way to kick off my waffle week, form was on track!! The next appointment was to go and have the ritual piece of carrot cake at the panicken cafe which ways around 500gramms! It would prove to be my carb loading fuel for the waffle ride as I had a piece everyday leading up to the event. Oh I love those gigantic pieces of carrot cake! I planned on doing some recon of the course in my days down there leading up but decided that would be taking things a little to seriously so decided against that. I did however check out what was surpassed to be the first section of dirt for the ride with local John abate but that section was taken out so that was a good lesson for trying to be at all tricky. No my training days filled up with training with all my mates and numerous hours at the lofty coffee shop with Brandon and sunny discussing all things xterra so basically the reamining hours in the days were reserved for sleeping. Conveniently my buddy George hincapie and his brother rich were also in town for a couple of days. It's always awesome catching up with George and especially with the classic I was facing on the weekend gave me the chance to get a few last minute tips on getting down and dirty off road on a rd bike! His advice was pretty simple, hit all the off sections in front and ride as hard as you possible can across them!! Pretty simple hey!! The week expectably was flying by and before I knew it it was time for my final tune up before the big day on Sunday, the famous swammies bunch ride on Saturday morning at 8am from Encinitas. This was my last chance to cram in a little speed into my legs and also chance to test my condition ahead of sundays big ride. I decided to attack and attack and attack and tt away from the group and was firs the official STOP sign finish line near the church at the end of the elfin forest. So passed my final test and week's preparations were complete. Only thing left to do now was go and scoff down as much pizza and as many beers as possible with michael and Phil from spy who organized everything at dinner, get a good night sleep, and go and enjoy whatever the Belgium waffle ride had to through at me.





Race Day



I couldn't wait for the alarm to go off on Sunday morning, I'd been in town for an entire week and everybody was so excited about the big day. I refrained from a sensible breakfast of oatmeal and fruit and instead headed for the start location to tuck into what I assume was the compulsory waffles, eggs, and bacon! Oh and copious amounts of maple syrup. I'd never eaten such a breakfast before so had no idea how it would sit on my stomach but figured it had copious amounts of calories and I'd be burning plenty of them during the 7+hrs ahead on the bike! So with my stomach full it was time to head for the start line. Whilst en route I ran into British strongman chris spence who slipped me a couple of extra co2 canisters which would come in extremely handy later in the day!! So big thanks to spence, he's a champ. So finally we were all lined up and set to go and I was not surprisingly extremely relaxed, I had no idea what to expect so had nothing to be nervous about, it was just another long day on the bike. In patriotic american style a rendition of the national anthem was boarded out and the 2015 Belgium waffle was finally underway.



The race was extremely well organized and as such had a police escort. Later in the day that escort would only be with the leaders of the ride which was crucial in keeping things as safe as possible. It was all pretty mellow for the first 30km or so as everyone expectedly wanted to save there cookies for the remaining 200+km. At this point the first gravel section greeted us and true to george's advice I was first man onto the dirt. I realized that everyone was taking this ride pretty seriously so I just twisted the throttle a little to ensure there were no easy rides in the group. The gaps appeared quickly so I was a little more relaxed in knowing I would be able to turn the screws a little later on. The group seemed content to follow me around which didn't bother me at all, it just meant I figured if I'm going to ride on the front then I will just force a little selection so as I can spend the day up front and out of trouble. I didn't have to wait long for the opportunity with a nice little 1.5km climb cling after 40km. As we hit the lower slopes I stood up and went for it. I only a short climb to do something but was confident it would draw out some strong dudes for me to boogy with and at the top I had Phil Tinzman, john abate (my tour guide earlier in the week) oh have to also take the opportunity to mention the awesome energy bars john and his business partner jess cerra supplied me with for the ride, they were awesome. It was like have a bowl of oatmeal in a conveniently pocket sized easily digestible block which gave you the confidence you would have energy for hours on end. The choc chip peanut butter flavor was particularly awesome! So thanks guys and was great having John up the road. Also with us was local jellybelly rider Cody Stevenson. The great thing was all these guys knew where we were going so that was quite crucial as i had no idea!! There were already a few guys up the road which we quickly caught and a nice little group of 7 formed at the front of the race. We soon hit the second section of single track gravel and once we were on that I knew it would be the last we would see of the group for the rest of the day. The other exciting thing about hitting the gravel full gas was how comfy i felt on my new synapes disc, i could basically go full gas on the trusty steed bull dozed though everything in its path, i could slip and slide and drift it this way and that and it felt so stable, it was simply just plain fun!! all was going along nicely.



We rumbled along through the back streets of I have no idea what town! Was like racing in Belgium, left, right, left, left constantly changing direction that made me feel sea sick at times. Our little group were enjoying the ride as we all rolled turns, oh except one cyclocross rider Ryan trebon. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just enjoy rolling along with the rest of us but I guess he was taking this thing seriously, It really annoyed me and later on I snapped. The next section of gravel came on a nice 4km climb and I decided to keep the pace on. I wanted a smaller group and by the top there was only 3 off us. Around halfway up we hit the first section of mud which proved to be a bit of a problem for me later in the day due to the amount I got stock in my cleats. I got my shoes clipped back in with a lot of force but I wasn't expecting the consequences later in the day when the mud of my shoes would turn to dry clay!! Anyways after this dirty section we were now 3, phil, trebon, and muself, and just 160km to go, perfect, would get a good workout! Trebon continued to not do a turn which again didn't bother me, I just let him sit there while I waited for the next opportunity to dislodge him but keep Phil with me, Phil is a great dude and organizer of the event so I really wanted to help him as much as I could have a great Belgium waffle ride. More rights and left through the back blocks of who knows where and before we knew it we were headed through the start finish signifying the halfway point of the ride. The situation was 3 of us up the road, really 2 as trebon was not assisting at all, and around 40guys chasing around 3minutes behind, perfect situation but was time to turn the screw.





2nd Half



Once out and into the second lap I lifted the intensity a little. With 120km in the legs of the group it was time to ensure that we didn't give them a sniff of being able to pull us back. 20km later phil's and my work was rewarded and we were now 6minutes ahead of a tired looking pack as we made the turn around at racho santa fei, we were well truly away now. Still trebon refused to enjoy the ride with us so we ignored him and waited patiently for the longest gravel section of the ride. As a cyclocross rider I knew trebon would have been fancying his chances to stick it to us there having stayed as fresh as he could all day while we dragged him along, that really annoyed me. So as soon as we hit the dirt I hit the gas and following a technical downhill section he was dropped and Phil and I were on our merry way without any passengers. Phil is perhaps one of the best bike handlers I have ever had the chance to follow. His background is as one of the pioneers of the downhill scene here in the USA and is a cult hero in California for that. You quickly identify a rider who really has that special ability to handle his bike and I quickly saw that in Phil. The result is you can trust there wheel and line 100% and you don't even bother looking where your going you simply follow the wheel in front of you. It was awesome ripping through the single track gravel with Phil, again slipping and sliding and hopping and bopping at full speed, the synapse disc was just so incredibly awesome to be aboard, I never ever felt in danger of coming off. Then we hit a rocky section and phil's line as usual was perfect as he literally thread the eye of a needle through the sharp stones and I know I was going to quick for my ability and wasn't able to read his line as well with all the sharp rocks around. Sure enough I hit one to many and that pssssss sound was there, I had gotten myself a front flat. I yelled out to Phil that I'd flatted but he decided to charge on, oh well, was now in for a lonely day but that was the least of my worries. By now the mud had turned to dry clay and my shoes were glued to my pedals! I couldn't unclip. Embarrassingly for me there were randomly people standing at that exact spot where I wanted to stop and I had no choice but to topple over right in front of the to bring myself to a standstill!!



On the ground and strapped to my bike it must have been an hilarious sight. I pleaded for help and eventually my shoes were loosened triathlon style and was up on my feet to change the front tyre. I certainly didn't change the wheel at any F1 pit crew speed but I wasn't in much of a hurry either, I figured I had time to take a chill pill and ensure I changed the tyre correctly the first time. This is where I said a thank you to my mate spence who had provided me with those co2 canisters to ensure rapid inflation!! I through the front wheel in and just as I did trebon came rolling past and I thought excellent, I'll get to pass him again! I got back on my bike, shoes still attached to it, and took off triathlon style, still on the dirt I got myself up to speed and slid my feet in, was excellent training for my next triathlon!! Once my feet were in I decided to leave my shoes completely loose as if I needed to get off again the only way out was to do it try style again. It was a slight inconvenience but on the bright side I wouldn't have to worry about my shoes being to tight for the next 100km!! Besides things like this are all what make the ride so challenging, you have to be prepared for anything and I simply had to deal with one of these unexpected obstacles, can certainly say I've never ever had such a situation occur before!! Anyways I was now back on the bike with feet in the shoes and gunning again for trebon. As I reached him I hit the gas pedal to ensure he wouldn't be able to wheel suck me again and hammered for the final few km's of the dirt section around lake hodges. Once back on the road I no longer had the police escort as it was up the road with Phil and I was instantly uneasy with that as I had no idea where I was going. The signs were few and far between to add to the challenge of it all soi rode very carefully to ensure I didn't get lost. 



Sure enough I cracked with around 50km to go and was convinced i'd gone the wrong way which was always my biggest fear for the event to be honest.  I have to admit at that point i thought bugger this and just type the lost abby brewery into my gps and head straight back to the start finish and call it a day. Fortunately my fear of quitting hit me just as quickly so i decided to turn around and head back in the direction I'd come from in the hope of running into another rider. As I rode backwards I was pretty agitated but also figured it's not over till the fat lady sings and so long as I could get back on course soonish there was still a good chance of riding Phil down. It turned out I was going the right was and it was only 2km back down the road that I ran into the 3rd place dude. It was no longer trebon, I assume he had quit, but I was simply relieved to see another rider! Fortunately whoever the dude was in the blue skin suit knew where he was going so I stayed with him until I could be certain I knew where I was going. It was great going fast but the problem was then you also went fast in the wrong way!! We had a time check that Phil was only 8minutes up the road and with around 45km to go so I knew I could ride that back once I knew where I was. I roughly knew the last 40km where we faced the final long and technical section of dirt and gravel road and the final run into double peak climb and then it was a simple decent down the gravel to the finish line. 



As we hit the final long dirt section at 40km to go Phil was 6minutes up the road, it was time to boogy. Once on the gravel single tracks I went for the gas, i had 100% confidence in my synapes on the gravel and I knew this was where Phil would be strong and I had to hold my own over the next 8km section of strada biachi! By the end of the section I was how I wanted to be, alone, and I was now only 4 minutes back. Once on the road I really hit the gas peddle as I knew that Phil would be really starting to suffer from spending 60+km up the road alone. The next little obstacle was quest haven which had a gate to climb when you entered and a gate to climb when you came out. Fortunately I was prepared for this with my triathlon set up and completely loosened shoes and I made a couple of swift transitions both on and off the bike much to the amusement of the the motorbike photographers now following me as I closed in on Phil. Here I have to admit I had a couple of bad moments energy wise as I'd basically been going full gas for over 6hrs now. After climbing 4000m over the first 220km I'd averaged 34kmph was wasn't mucking about and when I made this calculation I wasn't surprised I felt so light headed! I slammed down some gels and cold cokes from supporters on the side of the road and brought me back to life, I was ready for the final haul up the fearsome double peak climb!



Just as we swung onto the lower slopes of double peak I was on Phil. As I drew along side him I let him know I was disappointed he hadn't waited for me when I flatted before continuing on my merry way. Really he did nothing wrong and had every right to pedal on but I would have stop for him and at least offered to help but guess that's all part of the waffle ride, you have to take care of yourself so I just did the same and carried. Double peak certainly stopped me dead in my tracks and I quickly praised the cannondale mechanics for fitting a compact 34/32 granny ring to my bike as I now desperately needed it!! I rolled up the climb with all the force I could knowing I only had a decent down to the finish. It was amazing how many people were out there cheering on the climb especially fellow Aussie and star triathlete Luke mckenzie and his family. It was awesome to see that the whole cycling community got behind the event by either participating or competing themselves, was really a great atmosphere up there. I crested the summit and it was time to plummet down to the finish at the lost Abby brewery in San Marcos. This was a periodic the ride where you could finally enjoy and reflect a little on the craziness of the previous 6hrs 30minutes you had had on your bicycle.



With full police escort I entered the final few km's of the 2015 Belgium waffle ride. At this point I started to think of my victory salute as I wanted to have a little fun with it. I decided that a nice tribute to the event would be to create a W with my fingers to symbolize Waffle. I swung into the car park and the crowd there was awesome. Inhale no idea how many people there were but they were making enough noise to really fire me up and enjoy the final few hundred meters of the ride. As I approached the line I stuck up my hands in the shape of a W in celebration of the waffle ride. Once across the line I had to pedal on a little as I needed to pull out my feet tri style again to actually detach myself from the bike much to the amusement of everybody. I have to admit It was an extremely satisfying ride especially with the hiccups and hurdles I'd overcome out there on the road as I knew I'd rant my spot as a waffle ride finisher. To be honest that ride was so challenging there was no such thing as winners, everybody who finished the ride was a winner. It was so brutal that no body had any choice but to go the pace they knew they could survive at. It really was a ride of survival which even almost brought me to standstill a couple of times out there, to me that was the coolest part of the event, the comradary each and everyone who finished that event felt. A truly  Great ride.



With all the formalities done after the ride it was time to go and meet my buddies at the brewery. My training gang of robbie, Ryan, Dave z and e boz where all in there enjoying some liquid re carb loading and soon I was doing the same. One by one our other training gang in Paul, oliand my mate Brandon from xterra all trickled in and there was soon a room full of guys and girls in sweaty cycling gear slamming down some fantastic beers. It's was a bit like being in a golf club house after an Ambrose event where everybody has a great story to tell about how their round went. Soon my bike arrived still with the shoes attached and was being photographed here there and everywhere including up on the bar. The shoe thing was so hilarious and I never got tired of telling everyone who asked why on earth are your shoes attached to you bike?? My simple answer was try and get them off!! By days end my shoes were totally destroyed from people trying to dislodge them as beer after beer took it's toll on the party. Post race party games!! Yep was an absolutely awesome day and fantastic to be apart of such a great community event, i had no idea what to expect and I'm pleased about that as nothing could have prepared you for that ride. Was a fantastic individual challenge no matter what level of ability you are and if you have the chance to one day partake I highly recommend you make it happen, I'll be an amazing experience that's for sure!!



Cjw